He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
