I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
