Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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