i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
