Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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