Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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