fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
third nipple confirmed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
