Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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