She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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