when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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