the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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