Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
