I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..