holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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