lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dating After Heartbreak
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?