I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
