I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
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