Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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