Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
