Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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