Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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