Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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