Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
