Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
