Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
