Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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