I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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