there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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