whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This is my gift to your gina
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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