How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize