I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
