The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
