I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
