I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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