She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
