Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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