she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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