you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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