i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
