he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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