Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
