Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
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So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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