What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
