i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
