I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
