Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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