Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
