he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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