i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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