yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
