Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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