I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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