Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
