She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
