Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can't special order awesome
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
