They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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