Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's like iHOP with fire
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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