I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
