it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
