She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
