Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this just has baby written all over it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
