is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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