About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
