bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
