he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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