ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
babies were throwing up all over the place
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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