you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
