don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
